Admission essay, or sexy love letter?

So, in order to make potential applicants feel a little less stressed out about admissions essays, University of Chicago sent out a sample essay. The New York Times reports that between angry parents (who think the essay is “sexually suggestive”) and paranoid and stressed out students, their plan pretty much backfired.

Portions of the essay:

“Dear University of Chicago, It fills me up with that gooey sap you feel late at night when I think about things that are really special to me about you,” the essay began. “Tell me, was I just one in a line of many? Was I just another supple ‘applicant’ to you, looking for a place to live, looking for someone to teach me the ways of the world?”

There’s more:

“Your cup overfloweth with academic genius, pour a little on me,” he wrote. “You’re legendary for it, they all told me it would never work out between us, but I had hope. I had so much hope; I replied to your adorable letters and put up with your puns.

“I knew going into it that you would be an expensive one to keep around, I accounted for all that; I understand someone of your caliber and taste. And now you inquire as to my wishes? They’re simple, accept me for who I am! Why can’t you just love and not ask why? Not ask about my assets or my past?”

Read the whole story

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