Stuck Between A Rock and an Asshole

The good news train had to stop eventually, I suppose. Not that I don’t constantly keep my eye out for things to kindle my guttering faith in humanity, but all too often, it seems all it takes is one bat shit crazy dingus with a lick of authority to piss on the party. 

We have had decades to review the evidence of which sex-education programs are most effective at reducing teen pregnancy and the spread of STDs. If there was room for doubt before, it should have been obliterated by the longitudinal studies that show, at best, mixed results from abstinence only programs.

Make no mistake, students who take a pledge to remain abstinent tend to slightly delay their first act of intercourse on average. However, this looks dependent on whether or not those students can “feel special” by belonging to an exclusive, religious clique and the benefits appear to dissipate where students of these backgrounds are in the majority. Furthermore, Americans seem to be giving former President Clinton a run for his money by defining sex in such a narrow fashion that fucking her big, brown “loophole” doesn’t appear to count for many. It’s hard not to connect this bizarre thinking with STD rates that, wouldn’t you know it, tend to put the American South first in most infections.

Small wonder then that the tide has been turning for years in the direction of more comprehensive programs. Abstinence Plus programs are among the most popular compromises, still encouraging young people to wait, but not denying them access to science based information about their bodies. During President George W. Bush’s administration, several states began opting out of federal education dollars tied to mandatory abstinence only programs because they determined that, ultimately, the cost to their communities of withholding information from students was far too high compared to the funding lost.

But… *drumrolls* … Enter the douchebag.

Maybe the sex-ed refuseniks have a point. If this feller proposed to decide for me and mine what proper sex-ed is, I'd bunker down too. Brother looks like the half formed spend of Andre the Giant incubated in Ben Bernanke's backpussy.

So Wisconsin decides they’re going include education about contraceptives in the classroom. There’s still opt-outs for the die hards, but this nut of a DA, Scott Southworth of Juneau County, figures this ain’t enough. But he doesn’t lobby or write new legislative proposals or any of that, oh no. He jumps straight for the big guns.

By law, Wisconsin teachers must provide this vital information to their students, but students may, with their parents’ permission, opt-out. According to a letter from Southworth to affected districts, if any teacher obeys the law… they could be charged with either misdemeanor or even felony delinquency of a minor.

Prison time. Fines. I’d be willing to bet this will also mean the end of any educator’s career too, considering the usually exhaustive background checks required to serve students.

Wisconsin, true to its state motto, is trying to move “Forward”. If guys like this have their way, they might as well change it to “Backwards” or “Ignorance at All Costs”.

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