Archive for artificial virginity

So you’re a virgin, huh? Prove it!

Posted in Crazy/Funny, Stuff to do with tags , , , , , , , , on January 28, 2010 by Chase

 

Look how super siked we are to be certifiably pure!

 

It’s cheaper than a ring, and you can even fax it straight to Jesus himself! That’s right, all virgins must hurry to Certified Virgin and register the purity of their sacred genitalia. You can even certify your friends! I’m sure they will be thrilled to hear you care so much about their nonexistant sex lives…

I must admit, though, that I expected a more stringent certification process. No inspection, no lie detector test… hell, anyone with a dollar can be a virgin these days. But hey, at least part of the proceeds (the website neglects to say how much exactly… hmm) will be going to AIDS research. Because if there’s any group that has been hit hardest by AIDS, it’s virgins.

My favorite part of this website is that it keeps track of how many “virgins” register- 180 so far! But I do wish it would provide up to date information about their wherabouts… so many cherries, so little time

HT: Slog

Daddy, can I have a new hymen?

Posted in Crazy/Funny, Shopping with tags , , , , on October 17, 2009 by girlonpiano

hymen

“No more worry about losing your virginity. With this product, you can have your first night back anytime. Insert this artificial hymen into your vagina carefully. It will expand a little and make you feel tight. When your lover penetrate, it will ooze out a liquid that look like blood not too much but just the right amount. Add in a few moans and groans, you will pass through undetectable. Its easy to use, clinically proven non-toxic to human and has no side effects, no pain to use and no allergic reaction”  BUY IT HERE