Hey Heterosexuals, Come Out of the Closet!

 

Yes, that’s right! Because it is so difficult for heterosexual people to find support, advocacy, and information about their sexuality, Texas has decided that if colleges or universities fund LGBT awareness programs, they must also provide an equivalent program that promotes “traditional moral values”. This means that if your school has an Ally or other diversity training, they will have to provide an equivalent program to train people about what it means to be straight. I mean, there are certainly no relationship models for straight people anywhere in pop culture, media, politics, academia, religion, business, or any other facet of society, so it is obvious that we need dedicated, focused outreach to really help educate Americans about what it means to be straight.

“Republican Representative Wayne Christian’s budget amendment was approved with a lopsided 110 to 24 vote, The Dallas Morning News reported. The amendment would force state colleges and universities using state funds to promote diversity programs based on sexuality or gender to spend an equal amount of money to promote “family and traditional values.”” Read the rest of the article.

Not Making This Up

I WISH I were that creative, but no, this is a genuine advertisement, posted on (and ruthlessly skewered) by Alternet.com

Make your own caption; I'm having an anal prolapse from laughing too hard

Seriously, hit the link, to find all the great ways you can make your next interview or promotion a reality… by making sure your pussy smells fresh. And for those interested about where things like accomplishments and market savvy fit in, have no fear; what you can actually do as a woman is ranked where it ought to be: Dead Last.

Jesus is so BIG… It’s a little uncomfortable

Warner Brothers has a thing for hot sexy bears

Indeed they do, if you’re into that sort of thing…

What’s better than a single rainbow?

DOUBLE RAINBOW! BEHOLD THE GLORY:

Man, that rainbow was soooo satisfying. Time for a smoke.

Want some gum?

No thank you. I’m more of a breath mint kind of girl, thanks!

Yellow Vest is the new Pink Triangle

The Advocate reports that Fernando Gallardo, a seasonal worker at a Walmart in Vegas, was forced to wear a yellow vest because he is gay, enduring humiliation and alienation from his co-workers. Pink triangles, anyone? Read the story here.

Elton John sings at Rush Limbaugh’s wedding?! Seriously?

WTF Elton? According to the Advocate, last night you serenaded Rush Limbaugh in celebration of his 4th (atleast it wasn’t his 5th… Rush Limbaugh is not 5th) wedding. Can’t you just smell the sanctity?

Were you there to help the bride cope? Do you secretly long to suck his cigar? Do you find morbid fascination in rubbing elbows with assholes like Rudy Giuliani and Karl Rove?

Elbows… assholes… wait a minute! You’re fucking a closeted republican who you will later out to the media, is that it? Is it Sean Hannity? Please tell me it’s Sean Hannity…

No? Then please help me understand this Elton. I’m at a loss.

How Could You Hate This Face?

I mean seriously, how? I could understand wanting to assault it with kisses. I could understand wanting to force chocolates or diamond studded tiaras. But hate?

Actually, it turns out to be easier than you might think to hate Miss Michigan, now Miss USA and contender for Miss Universe, Rima Fakih. All you have to be is on the extreme right wing (of the “Real America”, mind you, not the extreme right of the Muslim diaspora. They hate her too probably, but for different reasons), a paranoid delusional, and someone who makes pissing on the accomplishments of others a hobby.

From AlterNet comes this story of how miss Fakih, a Lebanese American, now has to contend with probably the first original criticism of beauty pageant winners in years, unless you count that Carrie Prejean nonsense. Sure, she’s under fire for the same old things: being a “poor role model” for having participated in an amateur pole dancing contest , participating in a beauty contest at all since they’re so fundamentally oppressive (google that one your damn self, because the attacks are LEGION), so on, all the usual suspects.

But you saw this coming didn’t you? Miss Fakih, proud of her win (rightly), and eager to use her newfound prominence to advocate for peace between cultures, to stand as a bridge linking East and West… now has to contend with maniacs trying to accuse her of actually being part of a Hezbollah plot to undermine America.

I’m so lucky I’m ugly as sin. Think what you want about pageants, strippers, or so on, but it’s this kind of WTF that almost makes me wish the right wing’s paranoid fantasies were right about just one thing: The detention camps set up just to reeducate them. In my version though, I’d be happy to just cede them Utah, build a nice fence (they make good neighbors, remember), and let ’em sort it out. Any tries to hop over that fence though, my monkeys are trained to fling poo at them.

Mississippi School Erases Lesbian Student from Yearbook

Oh Mississippi. The ACLU must be so tired of visiting you. The same state that has seen the highly publicized legal battle unfold over Constance McMillien is back in the news.

Before all the prom drama, we previously covered the story of Ceara Sturgis, an honor student at Wesson Attendance Center who had her senior photo banned from the yearbook because she rocked a tux. She fought the decision with the help of the ACLU, and now yearbooks have been printed… with no trace of Sturgis AT ALL. No photo. No name. Nothing.

Ironically, with all the news coverage more people will see the photo that high school officials tried to ban. Object lesson: Courage gets you recognized.

And what does cowardice and hatred get you? Angry calls and e-mails! Wesson Attendance Center needs to hear that they cannot go around erasing students from their yearbook.

Principal Ronald Greer can be reached here: rdgreer@copiah.k12.ms.us

Principal Oscar Hawkins can be reached here: ohawkins@copiah.k12.ms.us

The school’s phone number is (601) 643-2221 and their fax number is (601) 643-2458

Find them on the web here

Oh Mississippi, when are you going to learn…